A satirical view of Comic Con

A friend of mine wrote a wish-list of panel’s he would like to see at Comic Con. Somehow I doubt any of these will ever happen, but we can always dream. Thanks Jeff!


Top 10 Things We Would Love to See at Comic Con 2010.

10. J.J. Abrams – “The Mystery Box Panel”
The master of adventure and mystery reveals the secret that his mystery box has long-held. That secret? Michael Bay’s talent.
Viral Marketing: You have to find it through a series of clues, each one more elaborate and clever then the next.

09. Colon Con: A special filming of Morgan Spurlock’s new documentary about somebody trying to survive three days on food from the San Diego Convention Center.
Thurs-Sunday – All dining areas and bathrooms.

08. AVP  – A real death match between an Alien and a Predator. The winner never has to have the embarrassment of another franchise movie made about them again.
Saturday: 3:30-4:30 anywhere in the Convention Center but probably the air ducts.

 07. Olivia Munn look a-like contest – Enough said.
Friday: 4:00 P.M – Main Floor by G4 Exhibit

06. Heroes Panel – “What the hell happened?”
This lengthy panel with cast, crew and the same NBC exec’s that hired/fired Conan O’Brien attempt to explain the shows rise and immediate fall.
Sunday 5:00 P.M Location: Off Site in some hotel atrium.

05. The “Big One”
The earthquake we have all been waiting for finally arrives during Comic-Con. Women everywhere let out a sigh of relief as 1/3 of America’s nerd population is wiped out when Southern California is hurled into the sea. Fortunately dozens of nerds were able to survive by clinging to the ever-buoyant Kevin Smith.
Time: TBD Location: All of Southern California

04. The Infinite Line
In a Comic-Con pranks and bloopers first, convention organizers create a line that just loops around and around the building but moves so slow nobody can tell.
Wednesday-Sunday Location: Entire Convention Center

03. Discussion Forum: “Redefining Gender Rolls in Film.”
Robert Pattinson moderates this event as leading producers, writers and network execs discuss the changing patterns in social norms and traditional gender rolls.
Friday: 2:00-2:15 Hall H.

02. Just Joss – Joss Whedon Presents’
Joss Whedon unveils his greatest addition to the Whedon-verse. His ultimate brainchild that’s so good it will never be cancelled! Never! Muahaha!
Thursday: 4:00 – oh, it’s already been canceled.

01. George Lucas Panel – “The Apologies.”
In a true triumph of the light side, good ‘ole King George finally hosts a panel in which he publicly apologizes for Star Wars Episodes 1, 2, 3, and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Might as well tack on the Clone Wars as well. Saturday: 10:00 A.M. Hall H, however this will also be broadcast in every room and on every street corner.

So everyone, that’s my list of things I would love to see at Comic-Con 2010! Let me know some of yours.
You can read more of Jeff’s ramblings at www.jeffersonjordan.com and he is a fellow writer with me at BabbleOn 5.

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