2013 Tip of the Day #19: How to Date at Comic-Con…

As nerdy as I am, I am still a romantic at heart- proven by the fact that I am a sucker for the cheesiest romantic comedies. So I think there is no other better place than to meet the right person than at Comic-Con! The brightest, funniest, smartest, sexiest, sincerest, passionate, and most awesome nerds are at SDCC. However, between buying exclusives, making it into Hall H, or chasing celebrities around, there is little time to come up with a strategy for dating. Often, you will meet someone with potential but they soon disappear in the sea of nerds- never to be seen again. Dating is plain hard- and trying to do it at Comic-Con might not be a lot easier. So here are a few tips to at get the conversation started and you never know where it might lead. If anything you might make a new life long nerdy friend.

To the Guys:

• The Prime Directive: Unless you are cosplaying as a Minecraft Creeper, don’t be creepy. Try not to stare, don’t stand too close, never touch, and know when to say when.
• Natural Selection: Breaking into a conversation or starting a conversation is hard. Do your best ‘Sherlock’ and quickly find common ground. Whether it’s a nerdy T-shirt or cool piece of swag, start off with a common interest. Make a compliment then ask about their fandom. If you are in line for a panel, this is a perfect place to build repore. Note, if she is in cosplay, she might be in ‘work mode’ so it might not be a good idea to attempt a long conversation.
• Wonder Twins: Now if you AND her have the same cosplay theme, this is a great  opportunity to talk about your costumes. You might want to suggest walking together for a little bit for better photo ops and give ya’ll some time to get to know each other.
• Confidence is Your Super Power: You might not have Henry Cavill’s looks, but confidence will help you be more powerful than a locomotive. Eye contact, smiling, and asking interesting questions will go a LONG way. If you don’t believe you should be standing there in front of her, she won’t either. Guys, I know this is tough, especially when it’s a group of girls- but fortune favors the foolish. Boldly going is the only way to start up a new relationship.
• Her Kryptonite is Humor: The easiest way to make a girl relax is laughter. In the brief few minutes you have to make a good impression, tell a great celebrity encounter story or a Hall H moment- anything that will get her smiling. We all just want to be happy after all so introducing humor will at least keep the conversation going until…
• Timing is Everything: If you are going to ask her to hang out, wait till the end of the conversation, ask her, then make your graceful exit- regardless of what she says. Never make her feel pressured or uncomfortable. If she accepts, give her your info then bounce. Your warp core is probably about to breach anyways so no one wants to see that happen.
• Be Clear: Whether you are asking her to get drinks, to go see an exhibit, or meet up at another panel (good move), make sure you are asking her to do something specific. Don’t say I’ll see you around because you won’t. Don’t ask her to dinner or to go somewhere private- again don’t be creepy. Invite her to something safe, public, and not weird. Keep it light, fun, and low commitment.
• Nerd Herd: Inviting her friends to join you and your friends to meet up later is the best way to take the next step. Besides being disarming, it will less likely cause her to freak out.
• She has the Power: Give her your number and don’t ask for take her’s unless she offers it. Give her as many escape routes as possible. Meaning, if you ask her to do something just you two and she suggests going out with a group, go with it. Your job is to offer opportunities, her job is to respond. Regardless if you don’t like how she responds, a nerd is always a gentleman. Treat her graciously and move on.
• Jedi Mind Tricks: Actually, there are no tricks. Keep your interactions honest, real, and truthful. Put your best nerd forward while not deceiving or creeping.
• Passion: Be passionate about something. It’s the biggest turn on. Period.
• I AM IRONMAN!: The reason why that Robert Downey Jr line worked so well was that it left us so desperately wanting more. There is nothing worst than spoiling a good thing so keep things brief and leave her wanting more. Just because you hit it off with someone on Thursday, don’t demand to see them on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Give her space and let her respond to you.

To the Girls:

• Scruffy Looking, Nerf Herder: It’s hard for us to generate the courage to talk to you ladies. Just give us one chance to wow you. First impressions may not tell the whole story. Give us 20 minutes then decide. Mary Jane is sure glad he gave Peter Parker a second look.
• Be Gentle: Guys put a lot on the line to try to approach you, so if you are not interested, let him down easy. No games, just be clear that you would rather be friends.
• Super-Friends: Being friends is awesome! It might not be a ‘love connection’ but it might be a ‘nerd connection’. He will be fine with hanging out as friends.
• First Contact: Whether intentional or not, nerds take physical contact as a subtle positive sign. So no elbowing, poking, jabbing, hi-5ing, hugging, resting heads on shoulders, etc unless you want guys to come on stronger. Guys aren’t as comfortable with the physical contact as you gals are, so don’t touch unless you want to be touched back. On the converse, it’s a great way to let him know to keep trying. A simple nudge tells him, ‘I’m intrigued, what else you got?’
• Your Turn: Feel free to take the initiative to hang out later. He might be too shy to ask and your suggestion might be all he needs. The easiest and safest thing to do is invite him into line with you for a later panel. You get to nerd out over your favorite thing and get to know each other.
• Level Up: This is from the heart. Don’t compare your insides with someone else’s outsides. Sure you might not be rockin the Slave Leia outfit but your nerd counterparts is not just into looks. Guys love smart, funny, and outgoing nerd girls- confidence goes a long way for you ladies as well. Comic-Con girls are the best ones in the universe, stand proud and own it!
• Be safe
• That’s all I got. I really need you awesome nerd girls to chime in here now 🙂

Well I hope this got you thinking about the possibilities. I know most of you go with the intention of seeing a certain panel or buying a special exclusive but you never know who you might meet. Personally, I don’t think there is anything wrong with making a goal to meet someone special at Comic-Con. There is no better place to meet someone with the same interest, passion, goals, and experiences than at Comic-Con. However, like that key autograph, you have to be intentional, give it some time (hopefully less lines), and take risks. Risk ALWAYS leads to a better place in life. Sometimes it’s not pleasant but it’s the only road to finding relationship happiness. Thanks for indulging my crazy Tip of the Day notions- let me know what you think about dating at Comic-Con and if you have had good/bad experiences with it there.

Check out my past Tip of the Day posts.